Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 12/21/2014 at 3:55am) | Search for a member
About kingbrizo : I live in So Cal, I love snowboarding, and I have blonde hair and green eyes.
I like to play soccer, softball and football with my friends, and I especially love my music. I love most every classic rock artist like, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, AC/DC, Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith, and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Just to name a few...there's plenty more.
I have a great sense of humour, and my first language is sarcasm. I know some Portuguese, French, and Turkish, and Im learning Spanish now!
I don't like much foods, but Im always willing to try. A favourite is chocolate, but who's isnt?!
If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and I'll gladly answer them =)
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML
Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML
Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML
Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
Thursday 22 January 2015