Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kingbrizo

Offline (the 03/13/2015 at 4:20am) | Search for a member

kingbrizo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6832
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About kingbrizo : I live in So Cal, I love snowboarding, and I have blonde hair and green eyes.
I like to play soccer, softball and football with my friends, and I especially love my music. I love most every classic rock artist like, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, AC/DC, Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith, and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Just to name a few...there's plenty more.
I have a great sense of humour, and my first language is sarcasm. I know some Portuguese, French, and Turkish, and Im learning Spanish now!
I don't like much foods, but Im always willing to try. A favourite is chocolate, but who's isnt?!
If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and I'll gladly answer them =)

kingbrizo's page activity

Visits<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 4:01pm<b>potatomanjr</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 9:58pm<b>bcofelia</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:37pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:41pm<b>Jelbeztok</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Black_Rose_14</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:17pm<b>dapbieber997</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:28pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:35pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 9:49pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 5:15am<b>emilyyy_maryyy</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 11:36am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 1:14am<b>lachina805</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:12pm<b>familyguy33</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 8:39pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 7:54pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 7:02pm<b>AngelLovesDerby</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 5:52pm

kingbrizo's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of kingbrizo's badges

kingbrizo's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40118) - you deserved it (11410)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (40488)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55180) - you deserved it (27708)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40111) - you deserved it (3333)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46293) - you deserved it (5234)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43816) - you deserved it (3296)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22309) - you deserved it (89801)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (2983)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

#20879963
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (9827)

On 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm - work - by Volunteer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45276) - you deserved it (5448)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
166 comments

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (6942)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: