About killerpenguin4 : My name is Jimmy Gomez and I am Awesome! Feel free to message me but I'm on the mobile site so chances of a reply are slim :p
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7374) - you deserved it (18070)
On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (20524)
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14605) - you deserved it (3331)
On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14605) - you deserved it (3331)
On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (3473)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (3473)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6404) - you deserved it (38578)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5475) - you deserved it (59999)
On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22454) - you deserved it (2163)
On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (5269)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (4124)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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