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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5582) - you deserved it (33298)
On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81190) - you deserved it (6633)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39832) - you deserved it (7766)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63814) - you deserved it (7784)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48043) - you deserved it (1872)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64514) - you deserved it (4266)
On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)
Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (84146)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56301) - you deserved it (3507)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11388) - you deserved it (38138)
On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (13703)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (445608) - you deserved it (30138)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (233314) - you deserved it (20085)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77407) - you deserved it (6614)
On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82719) - you deserved it (2929)
On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (147909) - you deserved it (55396)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
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