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katties's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML
by roidrager / 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by pierced. / 06/25/2014 at 12:29am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids
by Mem / 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm / Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by ClaustrophobicNightmares / 03/28/2014 at 4:42am / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Work
by mookiemookie01 / 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…