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About kamranbird : Go Boilers
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (71272)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13099) - you deserved it (41852)
On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (10924)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. Randomly, she confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I throw up on her shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36266) - you deserved it (14653)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34670) - you deserved it (1821)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (48167)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50469) - you deserved it (10614)
On 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (6297)
On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12367) - you deserved it (64421)
On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58081) - you deserved it (3440)
On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15845) - you deserved it (56138)
On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61591) - you deserved it (5179)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - love - by Troy (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (8218)
On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (4058)
On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7412) - you deserved it (30910)
On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)
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