kamranbird

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kamranbird

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2129
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About kamranbird : Go Boilers

kamranbird's page activity

Visits<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:37pm<b>TKBaja</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 8:16pm<b>whtu_lukinat</b> - the 10/31/2010 at 4:27pm<b>Ashora</b> - the 01/28/2010 at 10:00pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 11:10pm<b>MR_Anderson</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 4:49pm<b>Chowi</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 4:24am<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 4:39am

kamranbird's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kamranbird's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

by winterbee123 / 10/25/2012 at 4:07am / United States (Oregon) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

by dundundadumb / 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

by stupid / 07/07/2009 at 10:34am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

by Kristache / 07/02/2009 at 4:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2009 at 1:16am / Canada / Love

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

by BigBadTron / 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

by qwerty / 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

by whoops / 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 6:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

by oops / 04/05/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

by Troy / 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

by Invisible / 02/19/2009 at 10:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous