kainpwnsu

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Offline (the 08/26/2016 at 5:38am)

kainpwnsu

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2687
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 42 posted

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kainpwnsu's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:33am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:16am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:59pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 12:08am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 12:42pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 1:32pm

kainpwnsu's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of kainpwnsu's badges

kainpwnsu's favorite FMLs

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

by thatcreepyteacher / 02/16/2016 at 11:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

by Sleeping Beauty / 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

by Sleeping Beauty / 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

by aswamk / 12/19/2015 at 12:01am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 8:07am / Intimacy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML

by ujellybro234 / 12/01/2015 at 11:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML

by fabz / 11/27/2015 at 7:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work

Today, when my boss said, "Don't worry, I know all the requirements," she actually meant, "I know nothing, and will scream at you in rage because you cannot psychically divine all the requirements the day before a major holiday when no one is available to talk to you." FML

by Betterthanthis / 11/25/2015 at 3:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

by anthony / 11/25/2015 at 7:32am / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my wrist. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I am pretty sure mosquito bites are not supposed to start crawling up to your armpit while swelling. FML

by Severus_Snape_ / 09/20/2015 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML

by wormsmeat / 09/17/2015 at 5:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

by Unemployed / 09/17/2015 at 3:14am / Work