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kainpwnsu

Offline (the 01/31/2016 at 8:30am) | Search for a member

kainpwnsu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2191
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

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kainpwnsu's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:16am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:08pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:59pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 12:08am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 12:42pm

kainpwnsu's FML badges

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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kainpwnsu's favorite FMLs

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (1499)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

#21505521
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by Sleeping Beauty - United States (New York)

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

#21505521
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/19/2015 at 2:20pm - love - by Sleeping Beauty - United States (New York)

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

#21505211
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/19/2015 at 12:01am - health - by aswamk - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

#21500678
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20387) - you deserved it (1717)

On 12/06/2015 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been having an affair with my childhood bully. FML

Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML

#21497410
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (1509)

On 11/27/2015 at 7:39am - work - by fabz (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, when my boss said, "Don't worry, I know all the requirements," she actually meant, "I know nothing, and will scream at you in rage because you cannot psychically divine all the requirements the day before a major holiday when no one is available to talk to you." FML

#21496698
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (1361)

On 11/25/2015 at 3:16pm - work - by Betterthanthis (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

#21496646
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22909) - you deserved it (2254)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

#21496594
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26439) - you deserved it (1742)

On 11/25/2015 at 7:32am - misc - by anthony (man) - Luxembourg

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my wrist. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I am pretty sure mosquito bites are not supposed to start crawling up to your armpit while swelling. FML

Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML

#21469594
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (1621)

On 09/17/2015 at 5:08pm - animals - by wormsmeat (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

#21469422
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (1475)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:14am - work - by Unemployed (man) -

Today, I was convinced to face my fears of rollercoasters by a friend. I'm writing this at the highest point of the ride after being stuck over thirty minutes. FML



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