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kainpwnsu

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 8:42am) | Search for a member

kainpwnsu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1354
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

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kainpwnsu's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:59pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 12:08am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 12:42pm

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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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kainpwnsu's favorite FMLs

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44344) - you deserved it (4843)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42235) - you deserved it (13705)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (4998)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40634) - you deserved it (4419)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42748) - you deserved it (5098)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (52139)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41069) - you deserved it (15318)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

#21138556
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46557) - you deserved it (4042)

On 05/13/2014 at 10:29am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58804) - you deserved it (5035)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48617) - you deserved it (16264)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML

#21066990
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34402) - you deserved it (5266)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46892) - you deserved it (4750)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44308) - you deserved it (5319)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54352) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

#21006556
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (8948) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by Puick (man) - France (Centre)



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