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kainpwnsu

Offline (the 01/24/2015 at 7:02am) | Search for a member

kainpwnsu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1508
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

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kainpwnsu's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:59pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 12:08am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 12:42pm

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kainpwnsu's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29983) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I was accused of letting my dog take a shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. My dog's a chihuahua, and the turd was almost longer than he is. I got fined anyway. FML

#21339093
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27851) - you deserved it (4783) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2015 at 4:12pm - animals - by Titatoum - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (14935)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (36151)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (4955)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

#21332565
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (6656)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:11am - misc - by ijustwantpizza - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (5056)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45574) - you deserved it (5204)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42513) - you deserved it (13796)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (5025)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40769) - you deserved it (4431)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42892) - you deserved it (5120)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



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