jwp0211

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jwp0211

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2636
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jwp0211 : You better not read this.
You know what? I want you to read this so you can learn absolutely nothing about me.

jwp0211's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 6:20pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 1:11am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 12:31am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:26am<b>Tyler008</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Novadi</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:57pm<b>TaylorG147</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:39pm<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:35pm<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:13am<b>savvy8</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Just1Ash</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:41am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:58pm<b>boarderlyne17</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:49am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 7:18pm<b>LostInTransation</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:30am<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:40am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 6:33pm

jwp0211's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of jwp0211's badges

jwp0211's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

by Rech / 05/12/2009 at 7:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML

by IT_4_Hire / 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

by Chubs / 03/29/2009 at 8:32am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Kids

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

by toast / 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

by monty / 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

by promdump / 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

by olivia_stealth / 02/08/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

by N / 02/08/2009 at 3:04am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

by blarg / 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

by Danana / 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so give it a try to see what it smells like. It's currently the high season, and so I have quite a few clients standing in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML

by Xav_Cad / 01/11/2009 at 6:14am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Work