About jwp0211 : You better not read this.
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About jwp0211 : You better not read this.
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jwp0211's favorite FMLs
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
by Rech / 05/12/2009 at 7:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML
by IT_4_Hire / 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
by Chubs / 03/29/2009 at 8:32am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Kids
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
by toast / 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
by monty / 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
by promdump / 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML
by olivia_stealth / 02/08/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by N / 02/08/2009 at 3:04am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML
by blarg / 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Danana / 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I found a deodorant spray underneath the counter of the snack place I work in, so give it a try to see what it smells like. It's currently the high season, and so I have quite a few clients standing in line in front of me, but it seems they'll now have to wait a couple of days for the restaurant to have all the remnants of the CS gas spray cleaned up. FML
by Xav_Cad / 01/11/2009 at 6:14am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Work
- Today, I was invited to walk to Dunkin Donuts with the guy I like. I was really excited until his… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…