Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jwp0211

Search for a member

jwp0211

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 647
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jwp0211 : You better not read this.
You know what? I want you to read this so you can learn absolutely nothing about me.

jwp0211's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:03pm<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:13am<b>savvy8</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Just1Ash</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:41am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:58pm<b>boarderlyne17</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:49am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 7:18pm<b>LostInTransation</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:30am<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:40am<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:17am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 9:22pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 8:09pm<b>wildmonkey</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 8:16pm<b>Nunaetsuko</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 10:23pm<b>knt_rocks</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 6:29am<b>AmyPond17</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:16pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 11:11pm

jwp0211's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jwp0211's badges

jwp0211's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

#15243539
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32307) - you deserved it (7005)

On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

#14613102
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (3274) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

#14503708
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61393) - you deserved it (3581)

On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

#14335175
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (2244)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Connor - United States (New York)

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

#14335175
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (2244)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Connor - United States (New York)

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

#14286772
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22448) - you deserved it (9986)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML

#14070923
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (3231)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13749497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (5139)

On 11/07/2010 at 6:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (10462)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML

#13633879
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25395) - you deserved it (2473)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by nonexistant (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21582) - you deserved it (4550)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

#13397431
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32577) - you deserved it (2354)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

#13221595
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (8611)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: