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jwp0211

Offline (the 08/17/2014 at 8:04pm) | Search for a member

jwp0211

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 685
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jwp0211 : You better not read this.
You know what? I want you to read this so you can learn absolutely nothing about me.

jwp0211's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:03pm<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:13am<b>savvy8</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Just1Ash</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:41am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:58pm<b>boarderlyne17</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:49am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 7:18pm<b>LostInTransation</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:30am<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:40am<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:17am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 9:22pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 8:09pm<b>wildmonkey</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 8:16pm<b>Nunaetsuko</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 10:23pm<b>knt_rocks</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 6:29am<b>AmyPond17</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:16pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 11:11pm

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jwp0211's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML

#17956536
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18873) - you deserved it (5355)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm - health - by jzappe - United States (California)

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7370) - you deserved it (57435)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10301) - you deserved it (34206)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (11467)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37239) - you deserved it (3275)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26589) - you deserved it (4950)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54110) - you deserved it (2655)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (7813)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53152) - you deserved it (3267)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39627) - you deserved it (7513)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34228) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

#17221659
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (10544) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/22/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by zerom - France

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (7086)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML

#17154480
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (2293)

On 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by SonOfaSpy (man) - United States

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

#17036042
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (6818)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)



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