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jwp0211

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jwp0211
  • Town/Country : Gallifrey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 485
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jwp0211 : You better not read this.
You know what? I want you to read this so you can learn absolutely nothing about me.

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jwp0211's favorite FMLs

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (1649)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (1586)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19458) - you deserved it (2455)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

#19766559
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (4289)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm - love - by anon - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (2356)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19068) - you deserved it (5427)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML

#19231492
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (1750)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (22716)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28655) - you deserved it (2255)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

#18520175
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25767) - you deserved it (4038)

On 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by 2285morgan - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (7050)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

#18501912
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (1994)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:00am - work - by Anonymous - Malaysia

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (7452)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (7452)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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