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jwp0211

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jwp0211
  • Town/Country : Gallifrey, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 483
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jwp0211 : You better not read this.
You know what? I want you to read this so you can learn absolutely nothing about me.

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jwp0211's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (1428)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22565) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16630) - you deserved it (42420)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

#20049540
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20911) - you deserved it (1133)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

#20036157
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16883) - you deserved it (1638)

On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

#20026833
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (1310)

On 08/17/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (1329)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (6534)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (3182)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (1915)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (1915)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5313) - you deserved it (49427)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

#19979543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14706) - you deserved it (5099)

On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (2367)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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