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josiem

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josiem
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 414
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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josiem's last visitors

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josiem's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of josiem's badges

josiem's favorite FMLs

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27210) - you deserved it (7283)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (1703)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (2747)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2150)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (1830)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15835) - you deserved it (25932)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

#17260733
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12175) - you deserved it (33128)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm - kids - by unnamed - United States (California)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (8033)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117020) - you deserved it (5932)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

#16968738
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (3374)

On 07/04/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by monquiqui (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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