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josiem

Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 9:20pm) | Search for a member

josiem

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1211
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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josiem's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:21pm<b>SingingFarmGirl</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 3:34pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:33pm<b>MrsKent123</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 11:58am<b>testtest2</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 10:52am<b>grogers311</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 8:30am<b>hippodamia</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 11:16pm<b>waterboy14</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 6:41am<b>ireynkc</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 4:29am<b>KVKdragon</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 4:25am<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 3:47am<b>MGITSWFTC</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 11:16pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Ergayles</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 12:24am<b>decimater</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 11:42pm

josiem's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of josiem's badges

josiem's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked up new car. The dealer offered to connect iPhone to the Bluetooth system 4 me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passagehich had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (4955)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, ma boyfriend proposd to me. I said yes. Tis causd im to panic, excuse imself, ten take it back via text message a alf our later, claiming e'd been drunk. We live togeter. Wen e comes back ome, it's going to be very awkward inded. FML

#20541052
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37826) - you deserved it (2747)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Met The Man Of Mah Dreams. We Saw A Movie, Then Went To A Bar. It Went Perfectly, Until He Got Wasted And Started Singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" To Me While Everyone Laughed. Then I Woke Up, Having Just Been Rickrolled By Mah Own Subconscious. Fat FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (5183)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

yesterday my pet parrot learnd a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voicehen I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech themhenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (8400)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

YESTERDAY SINCE I HADN'T EATEN AN WAS ABOUT TO HAVE A THREE HOUR CLASS, I BOUGHT PANDA EXPRESS. I SAT OPPOSITE MAH CLASSROOM TO EAT. SOON AFTER I STARTD EATING, A WAD OF SALIVA DROPPD INTO MAH BOWL, AN I HEARD SOMEONE YELL "BONUS POINTS!" FROM THE SECOND FLOOR. FML

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad cummed to drive me home. On the way looool back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49644) - you deserved it (24526)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years . I also found out later that symbol stands for urine . FML

#20539190
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (46522)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied 4 at my local hospital. Bieng just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks 4 the confidence. mega FML

#20538687
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (2557)

On 03/10/2013 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I recieved an email from my friend in Sout Africa, wit wom I'll soon be staying fir 2 monts. Se was telling me tat se ad bougt me a few ting so I would be prepared fir my stay. Wat did se buy me? A taser an some pepper-spray. FML

#20537344
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (5036)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today ona of my aldarly swimming studants ran into ma at Walmart. Baing a polita taanagar I said hi to him. Ha lookad at ma surprisad and said "Oh daar! I didn't racogniza you with your clothas on!" I'll navar forgat tha look on his wifa's faca. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, Mah Dad And I Had An Hour-long Conversation. When He Was Getting Up To Leave Mah Room He Said, "Good Talk Chelsey." My Sister Is Chelsey. So I Corrected Him. He Thought I Was Joking. My Father Can't Tell Mah Sister And I Apart. We R Not Twins. FML

#20535549
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34967) - you deserved it (2160)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday I was so bord at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on phone. One of co-workers came in, so I rushd into a stall, but forgot to turn phone's sound off. She heard it and said, ( It's OK, music helps me shit too ) and startd blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today... mah boyfriend startd coming onto me... despite me being on mah period. He said it was okay... an we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread mah legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy... I did. He then yelld... ( I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA! ) an broke down in laughter.

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56005) - you deserved it (14673)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States



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