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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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joshwa95

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joshwa95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 544
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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joshwa95's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to give blood for the first time. When I sat down the guy said "First time?" I told him yes and he replied "Me too." FML

#12631880 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (2404)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (35301)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

#9102877 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (7446) - you deserved it (12733)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML

#8870594 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (20007) - you deserved it (1443)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:42pm - love - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (1699)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (1069)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (2056)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (13681) - you deserved it (4361)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (2557)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma told me to f*** off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (48441) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

#6872030 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (16715) - you deserved it (2415)

On 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife? FML

#6722392 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (30390) - you deserved it (2313)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took a hot plate out of the oven with my fancy silicone oven mitt. Seconds after carefully placing it on the cook top, I picked it up with my left, unprotected hand. FML

#6652180 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (4339) - you deserved it (20572)

On 12/07/2009 at 6:08pm - health - by Van (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (45039) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)