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jordan737

Offline (the 10/12/2014 at 5:59am) | Search for a member

jordan737

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  • Number of visits : 126
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jordan737's page activity

Visits<b>psiloveyou15</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 9:30pm<b>redblueflame</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 4:54pm

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jordan737's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46679) - you deserved it (4671)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43325) - you deserved it (4109)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (4280)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got yelled at by a customer while working at a bank call center. He was furious I apologized for a mistake that someone else had made. I again apologized for apologizing. FML

#21168093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (4540)

On 06/09/2014 at 10:27am - work - by apologetic (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44647) - you deserved it (4195)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39443) - you deserved it (3604)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43878) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45821) - you deserved it (12427)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (3569)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55007) - you deserved it (27632)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56277) - you deserved it (9183)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55935) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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