Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jokesta187

Search for a member

jokesta187
  • Town/Country : Alaska
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 389
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jokesta187 : I'm 23. Male. Favorite quote, "The joke is in your hands."
Peter Griffin is my hero.
On phone.. So yeah.

jokesta187's last visitors

swick25movman8straww1992yokoAssTardxxblmpknxx

jokesta187's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of jokesta187's badges

jokesta187's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40716) - you deserved it (15362)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (3814)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13992) - you deserved it (2476)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

#20098355
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19044) - you deserved it (3636)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anna - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27941) - you deserved it (3711)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (7804)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35071) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43684) - you deserved it (4210)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (8273)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

#14481940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21496) - you deserved it (5213)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94188) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: