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jokerfan

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jokerfan
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  • Number of visits : 549
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jokerfan's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10384) - you deserved it (29296)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48484) - you deserved it (3573)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67069) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

#14813959
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (8447)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

#14789249
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (3808) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36032) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (6133)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23373) - you deserved it (3821)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

#12130176
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29029) - you deserved it (4821)

On 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by dumped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

#12130176
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29029) - you deserved it (4821)

On 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by dumped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

#12095964
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6691) - you deserved it (33073)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

#12090028
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28595) - you deserved it (2590)

On 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm - love - by ghostyyy - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

#12087035
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (3132)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37224) - you deserved it (18351)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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