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johnnyk3

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Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244220) - you deserved it (40524)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239008) - you deserved it (31415)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
867 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50530) - you deserved it (613518)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (335501) - you deserved it (31138)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (382282) - you deserved it (71200)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (642207) - you deserved it (429688)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (249882) - you deserved it (36988)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52123) - you deserved it (309047)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (230932) - you deserved it (30492)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (327084) - you deserved it (27829)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)



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