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Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13984) - you deserved it (5878)
On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (5912)
On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15150) - you deserved it (6411)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (4760)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (1909)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (2907)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (7082)
On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (9861)
On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38101) - you deserved it (2050)
On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (1704)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20323) - you deserved it (2595)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (3536)
On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (6354)
On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (17374)
On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40574) - you deserved it (4405)
On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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