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johnnyk3's favorite FMLs
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
by VampObsessed / 01/05/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Love
by marisa / 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Love
by Raela / 01/04/2013 at 11:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
by damn / 01/04/2013 at 9:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 6:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Emily / 01/03/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 2:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by _The__Doctor_ / 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML
by bpruitt95 / 12/31/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by kmtranter / 12/28/2012 at 6:40am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…