This member hasn't filled in their description.
johnnyk3's FML badges
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
johnnyk3's favorite FMLs
by fviz / 02/07/2013 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by frustrated! / 02/06/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML
by hamandegger / 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
by Stunned / 02/04/2013 at 4:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 11:27am / Serbia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2013 at 9:41am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy
by notsobig / 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm / United States / Intimacy
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well,… Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a… Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't…