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johnnyk3's favorite FMLs
by Guntherdog / 06/27/2013 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm / United States / Intimacy
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by themouseman1212 / 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy
by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by lolk / 03/10/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by married an old man / 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Thankshun / 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm / United States / Intimacy
by Ihatemylife / 03/03/2013 at 7:17am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…