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jewelz1012

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jewelz1012

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1441
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jewelz1012 : I like hanging with my friends
I love going to football and baseball games
And if we're being honest here I enjoy sick humor; isn't that why we're all on fml!?!
My nicknames: Trouble and Jewelz

jewelz1012's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:45am<b>jaberg15</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 3:27pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 3:58pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 4:30am<b>jrtitus51</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:46pm<b>Jamadellic</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 6:54am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 9:43pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 12:21pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 3:58am<b>brysonholley</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 9:08pm<b>WearingHats</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 1:18pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 2:07am<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 6:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 6:10pm<b>gekkedupRAY</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 11:06am<b>qwillis98</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 9:07pm<b>_Stricks</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:45pm

jewelz1012's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of jewelz1012's badges

jewelz1012's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (5798)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33832) - you deserved it (3734)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (4518)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (2164)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (3897)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42736) - you deserved it (4241)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (5749)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25639) - you deserved it (12330)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (2703)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (48082)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (2601)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38770) - you deserved it (2799)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9545) - you deserved it (35338)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23041) - you deserved it (4264)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (2669)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States



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