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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 September 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4103
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jewelz1012 : I like hanging with my friends
I love going to football and baseball games
And if we're being honest here I enjoy sick humor; isn't that why we're all on fml!?!
My nicknames: Trouble and Jewelz

jewelz1012's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:49pm<b>jaberg15</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 3:27pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 3:58pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 4:30am<b>jrtitus51</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:46pm<b>Jamadellic</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 6:54am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 9:43pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 12:21pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 3:58am<b>brysonholley</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 9:08pm<b>WearingHats</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 1:18pm<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 6:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 6:10pm<b>gekkedupRAY</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 11:06am<b>qwillis98</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 9:07pm<b>_Stricks</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:45pm<b>bOOmBoTz401</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:45pm

jewelz1012's FML badges


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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jewelz1012's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

by great / 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

by vagina dentata for christmas, pls / 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm / United States / Love

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

by really?!? / 01/25/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

by swollenpenis / 01/25/2013 at 1:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 12:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

by frozensolid / 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

by idiot / 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

by notsuperstitious / 01/24/2013 at 11:37am / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

by HereWeGoAgain / 01/24/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Miscellaneous