jewelz1012

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jewelz1012

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 September 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4247
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jewelz1012 : I like hanging with my friends
I love going to football and baseball games
And if we're being honest here I enjoy sick humor; isn't that why we're all on fml!?!
My nicknames: Trouble and Jewelz

jewelz1012's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:49pm<b>jaberg15</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 3:27pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 3:58pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:48pm<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 4:30am<b>jrtitus51</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:46pm<b>Jamadellic</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 6:54am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 9:43pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 12:21pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 3:58am<b>brysonholley</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 9:08pm<b>WearingHats</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 1:18pm<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 6:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 6:10pm<b>gekkedupRAY</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 11:06am<b>qwillis98</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 9:07pm<b>_Stricks</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:45pm<b>bOOmBoTz401</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:45pm

jewelz1012's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of jewelz1012's badges

jewelz1012's favorite FMLs

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

by imwithapples22 / 01/29/2013 at 11:39am / United States / Work

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

by oh no / 01/29/2013 at 9:51am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

by thegirlofthedad / 01/29/2013 at 4:48am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

by Awkward... / 01/29/2013 at 4:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

by shitty situation / 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

by fucking teen cunts / 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

by dynah114 / 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:03am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love