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jewLem

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jewLem

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 518
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jewLem's page activity

Visits<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 10:36pm<b>tishharris</b> - the 05/31/2011 at 5:39pm

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jewLem's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

#15034868
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37923) - you deserved it (7797)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (13040)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15364) - you deserved it (58793)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

#14930837
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (72123)

On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

#14881975
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51533) - you deserved it (7118)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15163) - you deserved it (53337)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68162) - you deserved it (6266)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

#14836344
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (7364)

On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69747) - you deserved it (6566)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (4230)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35978) - you deserved it (5329)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34282) - you deserved it (9472)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (3397)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9153) - you deserved it (22771)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



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