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jewLem

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jewLem
  • Town/Country : Norway
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 442
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jewLem's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52238) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

#16263681
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (14621)

On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

#16104577
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (65650)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by wtfseriously (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28845) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

#16019769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (2074)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by teinage - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

#16017618
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38855) - you deserved it (3838)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

#16014326
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10345) - you deserved it (29689)

On 05/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by alchy (woman) - United States

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (3198)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

#15637668
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (19265)

On 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by lynn777 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10140) - you deserved it (34473)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML

#15281429
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23913) - you deserved it (3000)

On 03/12/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by soul0eater (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41611) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

#15226088
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37589) - you deserved it (5365)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML

#15067918
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (6549)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

#15061511
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (3043)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Josie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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