Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

jesuslover5000

Search for a member

jesuslover5000
  • Town/Country : Clovis, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 January 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 46
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jesuslover5000 : I never know what to write in this section… and honestly I don't really care enough to write anything worthwhile or interesting so I think I will just keep on rambling until I get bored of typing. Furthermore, if you are still reading this, what are you doing with your life? And… bored.

jesuslover5000's last visitors

bmonSlapAndTickleFightMyLigeryahoowizardPhotoSmithKinosterdead_insectsMythicalPandaBILBOBAGGINS666gc327072RacialTension

jesuslover5000's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

jesuslover5000's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (1859)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44705) - you deserved it (7276)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9038) - you deserved it (25211)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14527) - you deserved it (1243)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37676) - you deserved it (4966)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by