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About jessi_sunshine : Stop. Before you think about messaging me, I'd like you to ask yourself something.
"Why? Why am I messaging this girl?"
Because in all likelihood in which I speak from experience, it's because you think my profile photos are attractive. Thank you. Really, that's very nice of you. But here's the thing:
I'm not just a pretty face. I am not here to entertain you. I do not owe you anything. I do not have the time, energy, or inclination to reply to lengthy, verbose messages from complete strangers that I do not care about all the livelong day. It's exhausting.
I'm a PERSON. I'm a deeply flawed human being. I wake up without the sparkle and the makeup just like everybody else. I am not some toy here for your entertainment.
You just want a piece of me, like everyone else on these godforsaken social media sites. You want a piece of the sparkle, the glamor, etc. Everyone wants something. You take and you take, and at this point?
I don't have anything for you.
So do not message me.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
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Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Friday 28 August 2015