About Jessi_sunshine
Stop. Before you think about messaging me, I'd like you to ask yourself something. "Why? Why am I messaging this girl?" Because in all likelihood in which I speak from experience, it's because you think my profile photos are attractive. Thank you. Really, that's very nice of you. But here's the thing: I'm not just a pretty face. I am not here to entertain you. I do not owe you anything. I do not have the time, energy, or inclination to reply to lengthy, verbose messages from complete strangers that I do not care about all the livelong day. It's exhausting. I'm a PERSON. I'm a deeply flawed human being. I wake up without the sparkle and the makeup just like everybody else. I am not some toy here for your entertainment. You just want a piece of me, like everyone else on these godforsaken social media sites. You want a piece of the sparkle, the glamor, etc. Everyone wants something. You take and you take, and at this point? I don't have anything for you. So do not message me.
Jessi_sunshine - Followers
Jessi_sunshine - Followed
Jessi_sunshine's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    69%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    98%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    68%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    9%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    26%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
    0%
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
    0%
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Jessi_sunshine's favorite FMLs

Today, while on holiday in England, a cute boy came up and asked where I'm from. When I said Paris, he gave a look and said, "Oh, strange, I always thought Parisians were the most beautiful women in the world." FML

By frog / Thursday 6 November 2008 13:01 / United Kingdom

Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. 6, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 6 October 2015 04:18 / United States - Lake Oswego

Today, while trying to calm down my four-year-old son who had a tantrum in a store, a man walked up to me and said, "You couldn't have worn the condom?" FML

By jshsnan / Sunday 4 October 2015 23:12 / United States - San Francisco

Today, I got dragged into playing doubles tennis. It was me and my wife against her parents. I wound up hitting the ball too hard. My mother-in-law, who has the reaction times of a comatose turtle, got nailed. Everyone's convinced I did it on purpose because of our mutual hatred of each other. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 4 October 2015 14:20 / United States - Pensacola

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML

By dead man walking? - / Sunday 4 October 2015 13:21 / United States