About jessi_sunshine : I have nothing to say. Except, of course, to say that I have nothing to say. So I guess I have something to say after all. Or maybe I don't. Do I?
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (16290)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (6430)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11361) - you deserved it (24374)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (6388)
On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29510) - you deserved it (3693)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32574) - you deserved it (2715)
On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17859) - you deserved it (4117)
On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States
Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24238) - you deserved it (2849)
On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33535) - you deserved it (3013)
On 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm - love - by mahanaaa_23 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27108) - you deserved it (14052)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9752) - you deserved it (22048)
On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (7592)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (3859)
On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (8161)
On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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