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jessi_sunshine

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jessi_sunshine

40Fucked!

jessi_sunshinejessi_sunshine
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1705
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessi_sunshine : I go by Jess or Jessica, but I could be talked into other nicknames if you have any ideas.

Freshman in college; biology major!

Eyes? Blue. Hair? It's debatable. Strawberry...ish. Stature? Short. We'll go with 5'1".

Frequently asked questions: "Are you by yourself?" "Do you need help finding your parents?" "How old are you?"

Favorite activities include but are not limited to: stargazing, reading, painting, drawing, and sleeping.

I'm actually terrible at starting conversations, but I'll make the effort if you do. But you can't be creepy. My tolerance for weird comments only extends so far. 🚫

I have hereby fulfilled my obligation to fill this space with something. Carry on.

jessi_sunshine's page activity

Visits<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - 14 hours ago<b>baertzie</b> - yesterday at 1:24am<b>greaterdane</b> - yesterday at 10:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 9:36pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:31am<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:27pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:54pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:50pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:15am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:15pm<b>LeBandit</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:30am<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 10:36am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:50am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:13am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>dt1990</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FireDemon_101</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:33pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:17pm

Fucked!<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:16pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:06am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:50am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:54pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:46am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:27am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:54pm<b>scarlett3diaz</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:34pm<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:31pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:30pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:21am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:47am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:02am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:39am<b>NateC27</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:02pm<b>braydenjones520</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:25pm

jessi_sunshine's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of jessi_sunshine's badges

jessi_sunshine's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34906) - you deserved it (3860)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (2879)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56162) - you deserved it (14708)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36996) - you deserved it (5564)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (13020)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46137) - you deserved it (4434)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (3070)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (6887)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (45710)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30961) - you deserved it (3208)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38658) - you deserved it (2967)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

#20527319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2786)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34890) - you deserved it (2537)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38681) - you deserved it (11244)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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