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jessi_sunshine

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jessi_sunshine

41Fucked!

jessi_sunshinejessi_sunshine
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1715
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessi_sunshine : I go by Jess or Jessica, but I could be talked into other nicknames if you have any ideas.

Freshman in college; biology major!

Eyes? Blue. Hair? It's debatable. Strawberry...ish. Stature? Short. We'll go with 5'1".

Frequently asked questions: "Are you by yourself?" "Do you need help finding your parents?" "How old are you?"

Favorite activities include but are not limited to: stargazing, reading, painting, drawing, and sleeping.

I'm actually terrible at starting conversations, but I'll make the effort if you do. But you can't be creepy. My tolerance for weird comments only extends so far. 🚫

I have hereby fulfilled my obligation to fill this space with something. Carry on.

jessi_sunshine's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 6:28am<b>chris_mates</b> - yesterday at 5:52am<b>Jake42100</b> - yesterday at 1:29pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:07pm<b>baertzie</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:24am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:52pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:31am<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:27pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:54pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:50pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:15am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:15pm<b>LeBandit</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:30am<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 10:36am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:50am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:13am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>dt1990</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>Jake42100</b> - yesterday at 7:30pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:16pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:06am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:50am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:54pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:46am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:27am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:54pm<b>scarlett3diaz</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:34pm<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:31pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:30pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:21am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:47am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:02am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:39am<b>NateC27</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:02pm

jessi_sunshine's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of jessi_sunshine's badges

jessi_sunshine's favorite FMLs

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (2438)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68529) - you deserved it (17358)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84350) - you deserved it (8728)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36446) - you deserved it (9191)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34234) - you deserved it (6151)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (7473)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40349) - you deserved it (5752)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33683) - you deserved it (2999)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34707) - you deserved it (4475)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37509) - you deserved it (5800)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55576) - you deserved it (7177)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40186) - you deserved it (2491)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49813) - you deserved it (24568)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML



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