Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessi_sunshine

Search for a member

jessi_sunshine

42Fucked!

jessi_sunshinejessi_sunshine
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1733
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessi_sunshine : Stop. Before you think about messaging me, I'd like you to ask yourself something.

"Why? Why am I messaging this girl?"

Because in all likelihood in which I speak from experience, it's because you think my profile photos are attractive. Thank you. Really, that's very nice of you. But here's the thing:

I'm not just a pretty face. I am not here to entertain you. I do not owe you anything. I do not have the time, energy, or inclination to reply to lengthy, verbose messages from complete strangers that I do not care about all the livelong day. It's exhausting.

I'm a PERSON. I'm a deeply flawed human being. I wake up without the sparkle and the makeup just like everybody else. I am not some toy here for your entertainment.

You just want a piece of me, like everyone else on these godforsaken social media sites. You want a piece of the sparkle, the glamor, etc. Everyone wants something. You take and you take, and at this point?

I don't have anything for you.

So do not message me.

jessi_sunshine's page activity

Visits<b>moron011</b> - 5 hours ago<b>jaysinlove</b> - 15 hours ago<b>igg125</b> - 21 hours ago<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:30pm<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:03pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:27am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:28am<b>chris_mates</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:52am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:29pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:07pm<b>baertzie</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:24am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:52pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:31am<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:27pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:54pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:50pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:15am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:15pm

Fucked!<b>moron011</b> - just now<b>Jake42100</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:30pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:16pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:06am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:50am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:54pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:46am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:27am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:54pm<b>scarlett3diaz</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:34pm<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:31pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:30pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:21am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:47am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:32pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:02am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:39am

jessi_sunshine's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of jessi_sunshine's badges

jessi_sunshine's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59661) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72938) - you deserved it (5400)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63171) - you deserved it (5942)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70121) - you deserved it (10303)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

#20630276
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47999) - you deserved it (12123)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53516) - you deserved it (6584)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50601) - you deserved it (11251)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

#20627066
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (15485)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44279) - you deserved it (3128)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51770) - you deserved it (3986)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52035) - you deserved it (4886)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51793) - you deserved it (3741)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

#20618435
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45273) - you deserved it (5974)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: