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About jessi_sunshine : Stop. Before you think about messaging me, I'd like you to ask yourself something.
"Why? Why am I messaging this girl?"
Because in all likelihood in which I speak from experience, it's because you think my profile photos are attractive. Thank you. Really, that's very nice of you. But here's the thing:
I'm not just a pretty face. I am not here to entertain you. I do not owe you anything. I do not have the time, energy, or inclination to reply to lengthy, verbose messages from complete strangers that I do not care about all the livelong day. It's exhausting.
I'm a PERSON. I'm a deeply flawed human being. I wake up without the sparkle and the makeup just like everybody else. I am not some toy here for your entertainment.
You just want a piece of me, like everyone else on these godforsaken social media sites. You want a piece of the sparkle, the glamor, etc. Everyone wants something. You take and you take, and at this point?
I don't have anything for you.
So do not message me.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
Friday 28 August 2015