Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessi_sunshine

Search for a member

jessi_sunshine
  • Town/Country : Texas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 October 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1320
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessi_sunshine : "I am unextraordinary." --Hazel, The Fault in Our Stars, John Green

jessi_sunshine's last visitors

meb123hazelAdm_TwigsHowieDoItdaleaidenletianMarine1775xxfrozenfirexxSchindlersLisztgshocker20

jessi_sunshine's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of jessi_sunshine's badges

jessi_sunshine's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53014) - you deserved it (9386)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (7857)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76818) - you deserved it (10291)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63174) - you deserved it (17996)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45101) - you deserved it (3028)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

#20695638
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37005) - you deserved it (15096)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm - health - by :( (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59546) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38085) - you deserved it (9524)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

#20693277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49232) - you deserved it (5056)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by festival virgin - United Kingdom

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

#20693039
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46112) - you deserved it (3793)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

#20692458
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44102) - you deserved it (7167)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was my very last day teaching my dance class. After the class ended, the owner of the studio started clapping and told all my students to give me a hug. No one hugged me. No one. FML

#20691616
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42260) - you deserved it (4947)

On 05/28/2013 at 6:14pm - work - by funnygirl018 - United States

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52074) - you deserved it (2848)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: