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jesseinsb's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Kutakito / 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML
by bobthenun / 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML
by peace out / 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids
by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by me / 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by lifesucksbigtimefuys / 12/04/2011 at 3:36am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love
by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by Nuttjacob / 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 3:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML
by her0x3her0ine617 / 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…