About jess6blondie9 : In a world of fakes, I keep it real.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51245) - you deserved it (7802)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51245) - you deserved it (7802)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51245) - you deserved it (7802)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (5526)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by wolfie898 - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (3166)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (7079)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:18am - intimacy - by btswc - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33359) - you deserved it (3121)
On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got motion sickness while having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32714) - you deserved it (4798)
On 05/20/2011 at 10:39am - intimacy - by mikeycoco -
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32633) - you deserved it (11380)
On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29826) - you deserved it (5587)
On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10369) - you deserved it (33003)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (64743)
On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (64743)
On 05/19/2011 at 11:13am - work - by Username -
Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22866) - you deserved it (5594)
On 05/19/2011 at 8:51am - misc - by awkwardd (man) - Hong Kong
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47651)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Monday 20 May 2013
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