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jess6blondie9

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jess6blondie9
  • Town/Country : America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 January 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 11085
  • Number of comments : 1363
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jess6blondie9 : In a world of fakes, I keep it real.

jess6blondie9's last visitors

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jess6blondie9's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

#15187189
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (6184)

On 03/03/2011 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I got rejected by two different guys. One was my ex-boyfriend who said he wanted to keep our friendship, and the other was a guy I went on a date with who faked a European accent the whole time during our date despite him being born and raised in Texas. FML

#15183035
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (5860)

On 03/03/2011 at 2:24am - love - by Apparentlycreepy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (7535)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (80504)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

#15165493
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12297) - you deserved it (34865)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:18pm - health - by Baileyy - United States

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

#15164938
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (11409)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm - animals - by nothingisreal69 (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was mugged while on my way to the book store. I'd saved up for months to make a mega-purchase of study materials for my major, only for it to be taken away in a few seconds by some lowlife thug. FML

#15164140
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46891) - you deserved it (3827)

On 03/01/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by chilegrande - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

#15162560
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14790) - you deserved it (53822)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, an old lady hit me with her car. After which she says, "Oh! Not Again!" FML

#15150765
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (2196)

On 02/28/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by roadkill - United States

Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML

#15144008
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5622) - you deserved it (26414)

On 02/27/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by shirley (woman) - Spain

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

#15143494
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9572) - you deserved it (27933)

On 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nuttjacob (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML

#15141263
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37007) - you deserved it (11277)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by Stormy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML

#15141263
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37007) - you deserved it (11277)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by Stormy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

#15091359
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20989) - you deserved it (2113)

On 02/23/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by PissedAtLife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (40213)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)



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