Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jess6blondie9

Search for a member

jess6blondie9

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11956
  • Number of comments : 1363
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jess6blondie9 : In a world of fakes, I keep it real.

jess6blondie9's page activity

Visits<b>ghosthuggers</b> - 12 hours ago<b>LordCoonington</b> - 21 hours ago<b>origamidragon</b> - yesterday at 11:59pm<b>SaniK</b> - yesterday at 8:19pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:02pm<b>frankiero</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:49pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:57am<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:20pm<b>sajupt</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:16pm<b>nobody18</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:08pm<b>MMalmighty</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:23am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Tyler1299</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:39pm<b>lickastick</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:22am<b>lakers123123</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:13pm<b>armantihernandez</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:09am<b>jjjoey4</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:01am<b>Oihana</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:02pm

jess6blondie9's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

jess6blondie9's favorite FMLs

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

#15373244
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45007) - you deserved it (5303)

On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42475) - you deserved it (9344)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

#15368497
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/18/2011 at 3:08pm - misc - by musicmaniac13 (woman) - France

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

#15366725
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (64513)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

#15366725
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (64513)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18200) - you deserved it (82831)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35275) - you deserved it (6530)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (8696)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (8696)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (8696)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

#15354612
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (3318)

On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

#15354612
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (3318)

On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML

#15351755
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (3352)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:56pm - misc - by lalalalalala - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35813) - you deserved it (3036)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35813) - you deserved it (3036)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: