About jess6blondie9 : In a world of fakes, I keep it real.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39520) - you deserved it (4775)
On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37962) - you deserved it (8700)
On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)
Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32482) - you deserved it (2704)
On 03/18/2011 at 3:08pm - misc - by musicmaniac13 (woman) - France
Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5860) - you deserved it (58176)
On 03/18/2011 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5860) - you deserved it (58176)
On 03/18/2011 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14100) - you deserved it (64776)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29977) - you deserved it (5966)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (8104)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (8104)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (8104)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25684) - you deserved it (2990)
On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25684) - you deserved it (2990)
On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (2571)
On 03/17/2011 at 12:56pm - misc - by lalalalalala - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (2290)
On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (2290)
On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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