Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jesernoob

Search for a member

jesernoob

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 681
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jesernoob : Looking to kill time.
Message me, please?


-I play drums.
I'm into a variety of bands such as August Burns Red, Enter Shikari, The Chariot and For Today.

- Also, I'm a romantic comedy kind of guy. ;) No horror/suspense/thriller movies thank you!

- Also, I can't dance to save my life.

jesernoob's page activity

Visits<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:34pm<b>seth_felts</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:10pm<b>jakethejeep</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:26am<b>Saywat145</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:48pm<b>marulicko</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:22pm<b>KiwiExchange</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:29pm<b>DjSashaRoyal</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:41pm<b>htbaafly</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 8:15am<b>Extendo</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 12:44pm<b>BlueMoonCafe</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 6:50pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Antonia583</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:25pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 3:43am<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 4:01pm<b>happylappy</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:23am<b>jeep575</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 5:50pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 3:27pm

jesernoob's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of jesernoob's badges

jesernoob's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55683) - you deserved it (5494)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

#17506139
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (7972)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML

#17505369
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (4499)

On 08/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by livgasms - United Kingdom

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

#17503246
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (2659)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML

#17502904
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8636) - you deserved it (36306)

On 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38350) - you deserved it (2799)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

#17500092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29705) - you deserved it (4346)

On 08/17/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by santasadiekins - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36886) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34443) - you deserved it (6825)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML

#17498431
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (3205)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:13am - misc - by howtragic - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

#17237614
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (3473)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML

#17226944
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30101) - you deserved it (3923)

On 07/23/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by someone - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (4185)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (4061)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36674) - you deserved it (14237)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: