About jesernoob : Looking to kill time.
Message me, please?
-I play drums.
I'm into a variety of bands such as August Burns Red, Enter Shikari, The Chariot and For Today.
- Also, I'm a romantic comedy kind of guy. ;) No horror/suspense/thriller movies thank you!
- Also, I can't dance to save my life.
About jesernoob : Looking to kill time.
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jesernoob's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
by gb / 08/18/2011 at 1:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML
by livgasms / 08/18/2011 at 12:02am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by sadface / 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Username / 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm / United States / Love
by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
by santasadiekins / 08/17/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML
by howtragic / 08/17/2011 at 8:13am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/24/2011 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML
by someone / 07/23/2011 at 4:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by MaHalKiTa / 07/23/2011 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Geek
by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think…