jesernoob

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jesernoob

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 November 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1587
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jesernoob : Looking to kill time.
Message me, please?


-I play drums.
I'm into a variety of bands such as August Burns Red, Enter Shikari, The Chariot and For Today.

- Also, I'm a romantic comedy kind of guy. ;) No horror/suspense/thriller movies thank you!

- Also, I can't dance to save my life.

jesernoob's page activity

Visits<b>IAm123</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 2:28pm<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:05pm<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:05am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:47pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:30am<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:34pm<b>seth_felts</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:10pm<b>jakethejeep</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:26am<b>Saywat145</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 3:48pm<b>marulicko</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:22pm<b>KiwiExchange</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:29pm<b>DjSashaRoyal</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:41pm<b>htbaafly</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 8:15am<b>Extendo</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 12:44pm<b>BlueMoonCafe</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 6:50pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:28pm

Fucked!<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:30pm

jesernoob's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of jesernoob's badges

jesernoob's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

by igiveup / 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

by Stu / 06/19/2012 at 5:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

by Sir Vom-a-lot / 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

by Brax / 05/30/2012 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML

by BookBabe / 03/25/2012 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

by skid kid / 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

by jodibut / 02/06/2012 at 11:18am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

by tkr / 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

by kdeeeceee / 11/05/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

by sorenips / 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

by Username / 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous