About jesernoob : Looking to kill time.
Message me, please?
-I play drums.
I'm into a variety of bands such as August Burns Red, Enter Shikari, The Chariot and For Today.
- Also, I'm a romantic comedy kind of guy. ;) No horror/suspense/thriller movies thank you!
- Also, I can't dance to save my life.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (6330)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22402) - you deserved it (16527)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (27412)
On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17803) - you deserved it (4011)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (6487)
On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5724) - you deserved it (28939)
On 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by tkr (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (40771)
On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20791) - you deserved it (2454)
On 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by sorenips - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25371) - you deserved it (2572)
On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (6004)
On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20170) - you deserved it (3303)
On 08/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by livgasms - United Kingdom
Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (1911)
On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (25000)
On 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm - love - by Username - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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