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jek122's FML badges
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jek122's favorite FMLs
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by tacoboy27 / 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
by Oily / 12/16/2011 at 4:08am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids
by Brit / 12/16/2011 at 3:50am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by lucas / 12/12/2011 at 1:38am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 8:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by anon / 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by moopymoplady / 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm / United States / Work
by hopeless / 06/27/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
- Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and… Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some… Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely…