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50 favourites
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (2842)
On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (2344)
On 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tacoboy27 - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (4184)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States
Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17469) - you deserved it (4421)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (4128)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (10743)
On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (4913)
Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24620) - you deserved it (2359)
On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (7668)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (4076)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (1347)
On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (4000)
On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (3774)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (4316)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6239) - you deserved it (35909)
On 06/27/2011 at 10:09am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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