Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jeff_chen

Search for a member

jeff_chen

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1832
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jeff_chen's page activity

Visits<b>turtleman855</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:47am<b>Somefruits</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 6:33am<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 7:43pm<b>kaet</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 2:21pm<b>silentshadow90</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 6:57am<b>pepperkc</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 1:35am<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 2:22pm<b>techweed</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 3:09pm

jeff_chen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jeff_chen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19276) - you deserved it (5106)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML

#19367861
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (2400)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Jayne - United States

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40171) - you deserved it (12380)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9386) - you deserved it (32603)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (4847)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (4847)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (12237)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34777) - you deserved it (11612)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML

#18314342
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19734) - you deserved it (5629)

On 11/22/2011 at 3:08am - health - by daybyday - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36361) - you deserved it (6892)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13828) - you deserved it (29346)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (18851)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (18851)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (15479)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: