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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I wrote a poem for this guy I am falling for. Before telling him that I wrote it, he read it and then laughed at how "corny and stupid" it was because he would "never date someone who could come up with something that lame." The poem was about how vulnerable he makes me feel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43010) - you deserved it (13289)
On 06/11/2009 at 2:12am - love - by seablue (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (3170)
On 06/10/2009 at 6:50pm - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97286) - you deserved it (56322)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46828) - you deserved it (2268)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73218) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49312) - you deserved it (24627)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (5988)
On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50830) - you deserved it (2372)
On 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by anoymus (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50923) - you deserved it (14389)
On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44949) - you deserved it (2387)
On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (210690) - you deserved it (95166)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (165833) - you deserved it (14451)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (50182)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50246) - you deserved it (39081)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66203) - you deserved it (179801)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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