Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jd_superjive

Search for a member

jd_superjive

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3423
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jd_superjive's page activity

Visits<b>lisaint</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:40am<b>dubaigirl</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:44am<b>SecretlyACow</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:15am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 12:05am<b>que6840</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:48pm<b>JadeWhovian</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:28am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 10:31pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 01/01/2010 at 2:55pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 6:26pm<b>roflwafflez</b> - the 09/27/2009 at 12:12am<b>lulzlulzlulz</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 2:38pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 2:17pm<b>squigglyshark</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 8:47pm<b>Sun_Kissed18</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 11:21am<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 6:34am<b>Grass1sGreener</b> - the 09/04/2009 at 5:43pm<b>Htownmichigan</b> - the 09/04/2009 at 4:50am

jd_superjive's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jd_superjive's favorite FMLs

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (5345)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

#3960027
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49480) - you deserved it (5421)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

#3949793
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58272) - you deserved it (3329)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

#3613617
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45750) - you deserved it (3220)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

#3302714
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91272) - you deserved it (6508)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

#3205233
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60972) - you deserved it (3649)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

#3073543
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56750) - you deserved it (15712)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by anonyme (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40024) - you deserved it (27871)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48341) - you deserved it (13755)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

#2822887
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87597) - you deserved it (9949)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69504) - you deserved it (3734)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66557) - you deserved it (14803)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78738) - you deserved it (22074)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wrote a poem for this guy I am falling for. Before telling him that I wrote it, he read it and then laughed at how "corny and stupid" it was because he would "never date someone who could come up with something that lame." The poem was about how vulnerable he makes me feel. FML

#2793513
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48314) - you deserved it (14939)

On 06/11/2009 at 2:12am - love - by seablue (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

#2780128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you deserved it (4133)

On 06/10/2009 at 6:50pm - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: