jd_superjive

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jd_superjive

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4186
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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jd_superjive's page activity

Visits<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:43am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:41am<b>lisaint</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:40am<b>dubaigirl</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:44am<b>SecretlyACow</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:15am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 12:05am<b>que6840</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:48pm<b>JadeWhovian</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:28am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 10:31pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:32am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 01/01/2010 at 2:55pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 6:26pm<b>roflwafflez</b> - the 09/27/2009 at 12:12am<b>lulzlulzlulz</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 2:38pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 2:17pm<b>squigglyshark</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 8:47pm<b>Sun_Kissed18</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 11:21am

jd_superjive's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jd_superjive's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

by juliaspaperbags / 08/16/2009 at 10:32am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

by dumblond / 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

by esb / 08/13/2009 at 11:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

by thefailure / 08/02/2009 at 12:21am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML

by Forgotton / 08/01/2009 at 7:10pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML

by DAMMit / 07/27/2009 at 4:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

by helpfulmom / 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

by Deadfish / 07/26/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML

by ferrin10 / 07/26/2009 at 1:59am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love