jd_superjive

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jd_superjive

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4492
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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jd_superjive's page activity

Visits<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:43am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:41am<b>lisaint</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:40am<b>dubaigirl</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:44am<b>SecretlyACow</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:15am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 12:05am<b>que6840</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:48pm<b>JadeWhovian</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:28am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 10:31pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:32am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 01/01/2010 at 2:55pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 6:26pm<b>roflwafflez</b> - the 09/27/2009 at 12:12am<b>lulzlulzlulz</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 2:38pm<b>prplr</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 2:17pm<b>squigglyshark</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 8:47pm<b>Sun_Kissed18</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 11:21am

jd_superjive's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jd_superjive's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

by Jennnn / 09/16/2009 at 4:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2009 at 5:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went to the beach and we were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I notice a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

by WTF / 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

by keepsmiling / 09/02/2009 at 7:19am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

by SaMike / 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

by LGFLIPSTER / 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

by sigh / 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

by regected / 08/30/2009 at 8:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

by chinesef000d / 08/29/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

by chickenlover / 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

by micahmatt / 08/26/2009 at 3:09am / United States (Colorado) / Love