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Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you totally deserved it (1367)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you totally deserved it (914)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4039) - you totally deserved it (14136)
On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4652) - you totally deserved it (17030)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23433) - you totally deserved it (979)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you totally deserved it (6842)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16794) - you totally deserved it (1241)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14202) - you totally deserved it (1945)
On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States
Today, I interviewed potential employees for a job position that I was supposed to get promoted to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you totally deserved it (896)
On 11/11/2009 at 3:28pm - work - by NCanalyst - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13542) - you totally deserved it (1605)
On 11/11/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by carsuck (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you totally deserved it (1055)
On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17307) - you totally deserved it (2551)
On 11/09/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16230) - you totally deserved it (1186)
On 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22511) - you totally deserved it (962)
On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43922) - you totally deserved it (2924)
On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States
