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jcalxx95

Offline (the 05/12/2014 at 7:55pm) | Search for a member

jcalxx95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jcalxx95 : I'm shy and socially awkward. Yay

jcalxx95's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of jcalxx95's badges

jcalxx95's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54692) - you deserved it (5677)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41496) - you deserved it (2759)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34053) - you deserved it (6000)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML

#19969409
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (2663)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (2070)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

#17959088
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17376) - you deserved it (21154)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (20511)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (3043)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML

#46183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10460) - you deserved it (51077)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by Nastiaa (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)



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