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jbean209

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jbean209

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 398
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jbean209 : they call me jelly and i like it ... also im an internet troll half dah timr but im really a depressed kid on the inside :-(

jbean209's page activity

Visits<b>Slambz14</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:20pm<b>AllenRed</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 10:54pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 3:02pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 1:43pm<b>leaxxb</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 4:01pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 9:33am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 6:45am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 3:44am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 2:25pm<b>oj101</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:01am

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

jbean209's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49170) - you deserved it (14545)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73685) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (15415)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48947) - you deserved it (3993) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (2715)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

#13642352
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52007) - you deserved it (3872)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you deserved it (3515)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (2213)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15280) - you deserved it (28108)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an 'accident' in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML

#5889597
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/19/2009 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

#5735299
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7235) - you deserved it (43897)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML

#2955411
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (73243)

On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

#1955875
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (42914)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72759) - you deserved it (15777)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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